Music as light

“ This will be our reply to violence: to make music more intensely, more beautifully, more devotedly than ever before.”-Leonard Bernstein

The Connecticut tragedy really affected me on many levels. Perhaps that I am in a relationship with someone who is a teacher, perhaps that I spent many of my formative years as a singer working in schools, perhaps because I worked in arts education for six years and saw the power of music to heal and bring people together or perhaps because it is a senseless act that has affected so many innocent people.

At the same time, I was in rehearsals for a production of “Amahl and the Night Visitors” singing my second Balthazar and also making my debut with the Lebanon Symphony in Handel’s Messiah. It was the above phrase that made my performances seem relevant to those who had come not only to hear the beautiful music, but also possibly to connect on a deeper level. I allowed myself to go beyond just sounding good and really aimed to connect to the miraculous natures of both works.

Two magical moments came to me: one could argue that they were out of body experiences or where I felt as though I were a vessel for something greater. Moment one is when Amahl realizes that he can walk after deciding to be selfless and give his crutch to the child. The talented young singer portraying the role certainly had a handle on the dramatic and vocal challenges, but there was something so real about that moment that when Balthazar sings “He walks,” I felt a chill of the divine. The second amazing moment was singing Handel’s glorious “The trumpet shall sound.” It is the very last thing the bass soloist sings and is a tour-de-force of a piece. I made a conscious choice to “give over” to the music and ride along as opposed to trying to “compete” with the orchestra. I found it to be one of those exceptional moments where music, drama, text and spirit were all aligned and I was simply a conduit for something greater. I had complete and utter trust in the conductor, the orchestra and my own talent and allowed to let go and simply connect. The reaction from people was that it was a magnificent "performance", but what they don't know is that I was not thinking of the performance aspect at all and was aiming to convey the powerful message. Perhaps we must give ourselves completely to the music in order to bring our best "performance" forward.

I left the weekend still very aware of the tragic events of Connecticut, but also of the magical power of music and its ability to unite. Two very different composers, two very different vocal demands and two very different settings and yet the end result; to be moved, to be a vessel for great works and to share my artistry not to impress, but to express; were consistent.

It gave me such joy to be able to be part of these wonderful works. To show my reaction to the darkness of violence, I was part of bringing the light of music to heal myself, those in the audience and hopefully, in some indirect way, the world.

Peace,

Eric