The Facts of Life

“You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the facts of life.” Thus begins the opening song to a show favorite that I have loved for years. I thought of these words as I sit here preparing for a rehearsal today after a wonderful opening of another opera yesterday afternoon. The 2013-14 season has been incredibly exciting and I have had more than my share of success. In those moments, this operatic life, even with its nomadic existence, constant hustling for work and financial struggle, is a wonderful journey where I feel connected to my best self.

But the last couple of days I have felt an anxiety in my stomach. The worries of money, regarding not only being able to make it to upcoming auditions throughout the country, but simply surviving has been gnawing at me. Even with all the work that I have had and is to come, I go into the future worried about finances. How is it that a singer can work so much and still have to struggle? It is simply the nature of the art-form. Many singers have to figure out how to sing and survive so I am not alone. Also, many singers have an incredible support system in place and I am grateful that I do have people in my life who believe in my talent and encourage me when I feel like I want to stop.

It doesn’t help that I just received word that I did NOT get a role that I was hoping to get. So yesterday was a wonderful success and today (at least this morning) feels like it is not. And thus is the artist’s life. Rejection, rejection, rejection, struggle and then, just when you least expect it a moment of success. Or sometimes, and this is something that RARELY, if ever is discussed-success, success, joy and then when you least expect it, a moment that gives one pause and makes them question everything.

My belief in “the moment” lets me know that, at least from an intellectual level, this anxiety will pass. I have fantastic work coming up, a wedding and some wonderful opportunities next season (which I will announce in July/August.)
Ultimately these moments of fear, anxiety, sadness etc…help to make me tougher when it comes to how to negotiate this life; this career. So in a few hours when I am singing Papageno and having an incredibly good time, I will remember how lucky it is to be an artist.

Peace,

Eric