Dream Big, Dream Fierce

My last post was filled with questioning. After a difficult audition season where I was always the "bridesmaid, but never the bride" I found myself doubting if this is what I'm meant to do. It's no great revelation that the life of a performing artist is akin to riding an unknown rollercoaster. The phrase going with the flow is a neccesary thing as one tries to navigate through auditions, lessons, coachings, finances and self-worth. When the work is plenty, the outlook is good. When you hear "no", you find yourself wondering if you are good enough.

I happened to find myself watching the SAG awards last weekend and Viola Davis, perhaps one of the greatest actors of our time, won Best Actress in a Leading role. Her speech, as all of her speeches tend to be, was filled with hope, gratitude, acknowledgment and class. She reminded the students where she grew up to "dream big, dream fierce." Something in me clicked and I remembered that nothing is permanent including feeling low. I reminded myself that for the last two years I have had an amazing run with opportunities that most singers would kill for. I also reminded myself that I had only returned to the buisness two years ago and that what I was hearing wasn't "no, you're not good enough", but "maybe not this role, but we like what you are doing and want to hear you again for other things."

Once I understood this, I realized that I was judging myself far more harshly than any of those who could have hired me. I wasn't looking at the situation fully and was just dealing with the rejection that does indeed suck. Just as I came to this realization a few offers from companies I had auditioned for came to me. It was as if the Universe, God, Good Orderly Direction was saying :Now that you've moped and learned your lesson, you can move forward.

In the last few years I have seen some of my friends achieve amazing success. Some are singing and covering at the MET, some have been cast on new TV shows, winning Emmys for original works or debuting on Broadway. Some are making important debuts with opera companies or winning major competitions. I am surrounded by incredible talent and the fact that I get to sometimes work with these people is a testament that I am in that bubble of possibilty where one audition or one performance could propel my career forward.

My dream is to be a working opera singer where I get to work with fantastic colleagues, sing glorious music and enjoy the life of a musician. I am doing that. I am making my living as a singer and sometimes it's tough (like any job) and sometimes it's one of the greatest joys in my life. It took Viola Davis to remind me that in order to do what I do I must always remember to "Dream Big. Dream Fierce."


Peace,
Eric McKeever