What the critics say...

People think that being an opera singer is a “cool” job. While I have to admit that I love it, there are components of the job that can make the faint of heart run. Of course, every job has its plusses and minuses, even ones that you love to do. One of the things that can be tough for any singer is the “review.” Every time you get on stage there is someone judging you (critic, producer, director, audience member etc…) so being critiqued is nothing new.

Reviews can often be a double-edge sword. It’s certainly possible that a good review can bring about more work and seeing your performance being lauded in public (print and/or online) can make your next performance even better (not to mention how good it feels for someone to “get” what you do.) But as a friend of mine says, “If you believe the good reviews, you have to believe the bad ones.” So what you do when you get a bad review?

I’ve received a handful of bad reviews. I can usually shake them off and say, “well that’s their opinion and they are entitled to it,” but one particular review really stung. I was singing a supporting role in a regional opera company several years ago and the reviewer wrote for a fairly large magazine. The review was bad and I remember the exact moment I saw it and felt like I had been punched in the stomach. What made it worse was that the review was going to be read by LOTS of people. It really hurt and I think it was the beginning of the blow to my vocal self-esteem. I was upset for many days and I remember just feeling like I was wasting my time. Another friend of mine (It’s good to have them handy,) made me feel much better by saying something that made perfect sense: In this business there are going to be people who just don’t like YOU. It doesn’t matter what you do, they just don’t like you and you are in a business of putting yourself out there to be “judged!” If you let one person’s opinion of you deter you from singing, then you are in the wrong business. (And it should be noted that I took some time off to figure that out.) While we don’t care if people don’t like our clothes, hairstyles or choice of television programs, there is something painful about someone not liking our interpretation of a role.

Her advice, while very true, wasn’t some magic pill of truth that I simply swallowed. It took time to let go of the pain, but it did give me perspective. Just like it’s my job to perform and give the audience a show, it is the critic’s job to express how they viewed the performance. Sometimes they say things like “dashing, vibrant character,” or “a voice of power and brilliance.” And other times they say things like “disappointing,” or even worse “what in the h#$% where they thinking in hiring this kid?” What matters most is that the person performing has to believe in their gifts enough not to worry about what someone else has to say. If you sing for love, then that will translate and the audience will get it. Of course we continue to refine and revamp what we do in order to make it the most professional it can be, but ultimately we have to have the soul of an artist and the hide of an elephant.

Reviews are a necessary evil of the opera world and those of us who get them on a regular basis have to learn to brush them off and still do our best because in truth, we are not performing for the critics, but for the audience. That is the relationship that should motivate us. Whether good or bad, a review can affect us, but every time we step onto that stage, it’s got to be about giving the audience the best show possible.

Peace,

Eric

The Audition

I had four auditions this past week and I felt good about all of them. For most auditions, you do it and hear something only if you get the job. But one of the auditions was the preliminary round for another audition a couple of days later. Unfortunately I did not advance and after the last few months filled with positive reviews and wonderful support from my colleagues, it was a hard pill to swallow.

Auditioning is one of the toughest things in the business. Most people hate it, but I actually enjoy doing them as I feel it is a great chance to "meet" people and introduce myself. Sometimes you just aren't what they are looking for and you have to "let it go." But this was an important group of people and I felt so prepared and so "on." So how do you deal with those feelings and say "who cares?" after being made to feel "not quite good enough?"

I have friends who do different things: Some scream it out, some drink, some cry, some take the rejection as a sign that they are on the cusp and others let it shatter their self confidence. I happen to go through several stages of the above mentioned things: I may cry, get angry and in the instance of this particular audition, I felt my confidence shaken. It's still lingering in the background. The healthy thing for me to do is to realize that this audition was just ten minutes of my career and it's fine. You don't get everything, but it also runs deeper: I have to believe in my talent so much that it doesn't bother me that a group people who have some power to shape a career didn't "get it." In addition, I have to take responsibilty for the audition and say to myself "O.K. self, if that audition wasn't 'enough,' let's work to find out what can make it even better."

Of course this is all easier said than done. But it's the people who bounce back after rejection that seem to have the career. It's the people who are fearless and who know themselves so well that they say, "Well, you don't get me, someone will and I will work and I will have the career and you can't stop me." I like those people. Even if they have fear, theylook at it, stare it down and then walk right into it holding their heads up high. What a great way to be.

So today I say to those who didn't advance me to the next round: "Thanks. I'll be back and next time you'll wonder what you were thinking."

Peace,

Eric